We Time
I contributed to a story in a women’s magazine last month about the rise of women divorcing their husbands and getting together with younger men; I’ve listened to a friend talk about the current – and I’m sure temporary – distance between her and her husband (as is often the case in marriage at one time or another) and several coachees have talked about the all-consuming nature of their young children and what little room that leaves for their partner. A huge part of the answer to these situations is ‘we time.’ Time to be together with our partners to the exclusion of all others.
Boundaries are better than ‘balance’
Through my work I have the privilege of hearing other women’s aspirations, concerns and insights into the minutiae of what it takes to be at their best. One thing that comes up time and again is boundaries. Not the leylandii/neighbour dispute type, but the demarcations we use to ensure we spread our energy around a range of pursuits. In this post I’m offering boundaries as an alternative to pursuing ‘work-life balance’ – a phrase I detest.
Flexing Your Assertiveness
Had it not been for commitments in both our diairies last Friday afternoon, the impromptu call I had with a radio producer on the psychology of failure could have been a pleasingly long and philosophical one. (My musing this month isn’t on the well-trodden path of fear of failure though).
Women at The Top
Hilary Devey is back in the media today (18/3/13) and so I re-publish this post that was first published on 7th September 2012.
My back is up after three minutes of Hilary Devey on the BBC’s two-parter “Women at the Top” (whaaaaaat?I’m screeching in a restrained, forehead wrinkling kind of way when she makes a throw away comment about women not wanting the top jobs enough or some such) so I press pause and take Hanif Kureishi’s Intimacy to bed with me.
Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean In’ Digested chapter by chapter
My first thoughts are “It’s slimmer than I thought it would be. How much of this did Sheryl write? How much effort did she really put in?” And then I ask myself ‘Why does it bother me that she didn’t do the actual bashing at the keyboard?’ (Because I DID slave away at a keyboard for several months whilst writing mine. So what?).
Do you feel like an imposter?
The average senior professional woman experiences 19 episodes of imposter syndrome in the first two years following a promotion and 4.2 per year in a role she’s acclimatized to. Actually, I made that up but it sounds reassuring, doesn’t it? Have you ever felt like an imposter? Believed you’re not really up to the role you’re in or the task that’s in front of you; that you’ve somehow bluffed your way so far or got lucky and then been wondering how you’ll cope when you’re exposed? No public admissions are needed from you but for what it’s worth I’ll hold my hand up to it.
Power of voluntary work on CV attractiveness
A CV that is polished, to the point and relevant to the job you are applying for is likely to get picked out by a busy recruiter and research by academics Christa Wilkin and Catherine Connelly suggests voluntary work is beneficial, so long as it’s relevant. This is likely to be very good news for women and men who’ve taken a career break to raise children and have spent time in unpaid roles in their wider communities. In their study, Wilkin and Connelly provided 135 professional recruiters with CVs that differed systematically in the types of experience they reported. Some contained purely paid work, others purely voluntary work and others a mixture.
January Revolutions v. Gradual Change
Did you, like me, wake up to stupendous sunshine and blue sky on new year’s day and fleetingly entertain the idea of new year’s revolutions? That bold, life-giving copper coin has a way of filling us with hope, optimism, possibility and on January 1st has the extra power of instilling in us the belief we can make radical changes to our behaviour with ease. In this post I’m sharing how gradually improving an aspect of ourselves, whatever the weather, is probably better than attempting to revolutionise it.
The horse's mouth
“It’s been remarkable – a huge impact on my personal and professional life.” Nicky’s getting better results from her team, she’s confidently approaching difficult conversations and is fulfilling a secret ambition to write a book. Read how Agnes, Dani, Andrea and Emmy say they’ve benefited from a short spell of coaching.
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