The science of optimism

In this post I’m exploring optimism – the benefits and how to get them. My daughter reeled off a string of things that have gone well for her recently and it got me thinking about the genetic and learned aspects of optimism. The work of psychologist Martin Seligman and others have shown an optimistic thinking style can be learned, although it requires long-term sustained effort. My daughter could equally have been the stimulus for a post on gratitude, something I’ve covered... Read More

Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean In’ Digested chapter by chapter

My first thoughts are “It’s slimmer than I thought it would be. How much of this did Sheryl write? How much effort did she really put in?” And then I ask myself ‘Why does it bother me that she didn’t do the actual bashing at the keyboard?’ (Because I DID slave away at a keyboard for several months whilst writing mine. So what?). Let’s get beyond that because she’s a good woman doing something positive. I’ve heard her speak at... Read More

Do you feel like an imposter?

The average senior professional woman experiences 19 episodes of imposter syndrome in the first two years following a promotion and 4.2 per year in a role she’s acclimatized to. Actually, I made that up but it sounds reassuring, doesn’t it? Have you ever felt like an imposter? Believed you’re not really up to the role you’re in or the task that’s in front of you; that you’ve somehow bluffed your way so far or got lucky and then been wondering how you’ll cope when... Read More

Loved for saying no?

In a column last month (“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should“) I suggested that capable, busy women like you need to be picky about the way you spend your time. I offered the mantra ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’ which caused Christine to get on the blower to delve into my ideas on how to say no – one of the mantra’s necessary and implicit skills – for her latest feature in a Gulf magazine. So here’s how to say no and be... Read More

Senior Civil Servant Job-Share

Picture courtesy of The Guardian website Once the preserve of women at the lower end of a company’s org’chart, job-sharing is now happening in the upper echelons of management. At least it is if you know where to look or more importantly if you know how to ask. I wonder if that appeals to you or your colleagues? If it does, read on and please forward this month’s working motherhood musing to those bright minds. Last month I heard from Isobel, a senior civil servant in her... Read More

Return to Work-shop

In a nutshell The Mothers Work! Return to work-shop involves a delightfully small group of women coming together for a friendly day (during school hours) of personal, professional and domestic preparation for their return to work. Hosted in a relaxed environment by Jessica Chivers, coach and author of Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work, this is a day that will give your dynamism a dusting down (no Mr Sheen required and if you didn’t... Read More

Women and The Vision Thing

The old proverb about there being more than one way to skin a cat came into sharp focus recently as I observed my three year old daughter’s response to a hungry, bad-tempered troll lurking under a climbing frame at the park. The troll was me. I yelled that I wasn’t going to let her cross my bridge and if she did, I’d eat her up if one big gollop. Clever little Artemis decided to offer me some chicken and strawberries which I accepted and then couldn’t be nearly so grumpy.... Read More

Failing Better

I got a call a couple of weeks ago from a young journalist (who is now probably put off motherhood for life given what was going on in the background and my seeming inability to string a sentence together – why oh why didn’t I let the answering service kick in?) seeking my views on the psychology of young women and failure. She told me about a brilliant teacher at an all girls school in Wimbledon who’d recently run an experiment to help her young minds cope with failure;... Read More

Opportunities

Do you know how amazing your mind is? How awesome you are? Yes, you are astonishing. How about that as a welcome to January? (But no, this isn’t a celebration of how well you did managing all those people, presents, palaver and general overwhelm at Christmas - although I’m sure you’re very deserving of praise on that front too). It’s astounding what complex things your brain undertakes every day and in this short Flourishing Female mailing I’d like to showcase... Read More

Positive self-talk

Have you got a friend or foe upstairs in that beautiful bonce of yours? A helpful little thing that calms, soothes and bolsters? Or a Meddling Martha that undermines, irritates and hinders you? Hmmm, ponder that one a moment. I’ve got a lovely new client who’s noticed her Meddling Martha has gone into over drive since she quit corporate life to go solo. You might know the sort of thing – an inner voice that questions decisions, gives back-chat about your... Read More