How much self-doubt have you handled this past week? And when you doubt yourself, what’s the impact? I ask because a research paper I read recently concluded that self-doubt could lead to good outcomes.
When I was 17 I thought nothing of walking a mile home by myself after a post-pub curry late on a Friday night. 19 years later, I felt afraid running solo along a country lane close to home on a bright, clear-skyed Sunday morning. Booze and youth, the critical difference?
Have you ever wondered if you’d be better off self-employed? A number of women in substantial jobs have used coaching time to explore this recently and some have approached me about becoming an associate with The Talent Keeper Specialists. Time to tackle it in a column I thought, because self-employment is not for everyone.*
**First published January 2013 – bringing to the fore again given what’s been going on for some coachees**
Last year I invited you to reflect on your personal strengths, areas for development and something you struggle with that I could potentially address in my monthly Flourishing Female newsletters.
Do you ever gush with gratitude towards clients, colleagues, friends or family? Or inwardly feel so thankful for what you have that you tell yourself you’d be mad to rock the boat? I’ve pedalled the psychology of gratitude on several occasions over the last five years (it’s an important factor in subjective measures of happiness and wellbeing)
In this post I’m exploring optimism – the benefits and how to get them. My daughter reeled off a string of things that have gone well for her recently and it got me thinking about the genetic and learned aspects of optimism. The work of psychologist Martin Seligman and others have shown an optimistic thinking style can be learned, although it requires long-term sustained effort. My daughter could equally have been the stimulus for a post on gratitude, something I’ve covered a couple of times in the last few years.
Had the women at the 4am opening of the Next sale not had enough of queuing, crammed car parks and overheating credit cards last month? Or had they simply not got round to making their ‘doing more interesting things’ and ‘saving money for things I actually need’ resolutions yet? This edition of Here’s a thought is written for every woman who’d rather say ‘Humbug!’ to sale shopping and resolutions in January. I propose a dose of gratitude instead.
The average senior professional woman experiences 19 episodes of imposter syndrome in the first two years following a promotion and 4.2 per year in a role she’s acclimatized to. Actually, I made that up but it sounds reassuring, doesn’t it? Have you ever felt like an imposter? Believed you’re not really up to the role you’re in or the task that’s in front of you; that you’ve somehow bluffed your way so far or got lucky and then been wondering how you’ll cope when you’re exposed? No public admissions are needed from you but for what it’s worth I’ll hold my hand up to it.
The horse's mouth
“It’s been remarkable – a huge impact on my personal and professional life.” Nicky’s getting better results from her team, she’s confidently approaching difficult conversations and is fulfilling a secret ambition to write a book. Read how Agnes, Dani, Andrea and Emmy say they’ve benefited from a short spell of coaching.
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