My husband has been moaning about the progressive degradation of kerb stones and communal green space outside our home over the last few weeks. I shan’t go into why or how. Suffice to say I’ve kindly given his own words of advice back to him: “sh*it or get off the pot” – that is, take some step toward solving it or stop moaning to me about it. In this post I’m encouraging all of us to do something with the feelings of delight and despair we might have at this time of year. Roll on good tidings and so to the delight bit first.

I’ll bet there have been times over the last year when you’ve missed an opportunity to give credit when it’s due. From a colleague who’s helped you see how capable you are (when you’ve felt anything but) to a friend who’s listened attentively when you’ve needed to let off steam or a team member who’s stepped up and delivered when it mattered. Now is a fitting time to give thanks and turn the horror that can be writing 70 plus Christmas cards into one of pleasure. Each of us has the capacity to make someone’s day if only we put our reservations to one side and believe the power we have to delight.

From delight to despair; one mum I was chatting to last week told me she’s pulled her girls from the school’s Christmas production owing to the toll into took on the family last year. How that affects relations with the school isn’t apparent and whilst it might not be your preferred approach I love that she’s crafting the kind of Crimbletude she wants. With other conversations rumbling around me about what people don’t like about this time of year here are some ideas for keeping the mainstays of Christmas feeling good:

• GIFTS - keep gift-giving just for the children and surprise friends and family throughout the year when we see something that they would love
• FOOD – eat what you like and ask everyone who’s eating with you on Christmas day to contribute a dish
• CARDS – reserve for people who you want to write a special note of thanks or recognition to (as above) and for everyone else a comedy message filmed on your smartphone and posted to YouTube is great
• GOING OUT – have a massage and a facial instead of hair and nails (knowing the former set you up to feel sufficiently rested to want to go out) and suggest a big-bang team away day or lunch in January instead of a December night out
• ATTITUDE – think ‘anything goes’, ease, ‘if it isn’t putting a smile on my face or someone else’s it’s not worth doing’ and don’t say yes to anything you wouldn’t want to do tomorrow

Advent is also the season for employees discussing the year that’s been with line managers. I wish you productive performance conversations with your line manager and with the people you manage. Keep in mind that the aim of feedback – both praise and constructive – is to make a helpful difference to the receiver. May you get the recognition you deserve and set yourself some stretching goals for next year.

In the new year I’ll be writing about job crafting and how to work out what you want if you know it’s not what you’ve got right now.

Flourishing yours,

Jessica

The image in this post is from the talented designers at www.mayalee.com

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