This post was first published in June 2008 - relevant to female flourishing today as it ever was, so here it is again. (We think you can’t beat a bit of recycling).

I’m completely, unashamedly in love with holidaying - without the family. Six, self-indulgent days in Dubai visiting my brother and I’ve morphed into a ‘Mummy Break’ evangelist. So this month, with my holiday joy still bubbling over, I’m inviting you to think about creating some pretty perfect pauses in your life, too. (And reasoning why they’re absolutely necessary and not really self-indulgent at all).

I asked 10 women about their perfect holiday and without exception ‘relaxation’ appeared in the first sentence. I can report firsthand that it’s a heck of a lot easier to get that when you’ve only got yourself to please (as evidenced by the heavenly on-a-whim facial an hour after I called; afternoon tea without sneaky little fingers and 8.5 hours kip every night).

‘Culture’ and ‘experiencing something different’ featured too and with no one to persuade (or keep quiet) it was easy to spend 90 minutes at an organised mosque tour and talk about Islam. Not everyone’s cup of tea I grant you, but you get my drift about the joy of doing what you fancy.

Back in the real world it’s not usually possible to abandon domesticity so easily (thank you grandma and wonderful husband). Whether you’re 21, 37 or 62, partnered up or single, working or not, with dependents or without, I’m willing to wager that you probably don’t relax in the way you prefer as often as might be good for you.

For example, according to one study in 1999, 4 in 10 people didn’t take at least one holiday. That’s bonkers, especially when you consider that psychologists (e.g. Gilbert & Abdullah, 2002) have shown people waiting to go on a holiday are happier with their life as a whole, experienced less ‘negative affect’ and are much happier with their economic situation, family and health compared to people not going on a holiday.

So if I never get another mummy break again I’ve been thinking about what relaxing moments I would do well to weave into the fabric of my life on a more regular basis. From Gilbert & Abdullah’s work it seems even thinking about a holiday might be good for us so how about taking two minutes to close your eyes and think about your best holiday moments?

If you aren’t taking a formal holiday in the near future, what holiday-esque things could you do to relax and rejuvenate this month?

My first thirteen thoughts:

1. Read a novel until I get bored (not just 15 minutes before lights out)
2. Listen to a CD for the heck of it (not as background to cleaning)
3. Replace a weekend’s to-do list with a blank canvass
4. Have a facial and a pedicure (I’ve never had a double pampering treat in my life)
5. Go out for lunch and dinner all weekend
6. Turn up at the cinema and see what’s on (I did that in Dubai and I won’t recommend Indiana Jones)
7. Sit in a park and watch the world and the wildlife go by
8. Take random photos of things that make me smile
9. Wear different clothes without thinking about other people’s perceptions (I’m on camera in a Sheyla and Abaya in Dubai)
10. Indulge sexual and sensual fantasies or at least make time to concoct them
11. Eat lots of ice-cream (doesn’t food always follow sex?)
12. Linger in a long, lazy bath with candles and ylang ylang oil
13. Dance, skip, sing - be silly - in private or in public

What would your top thirteen be? How about one a day for the next seven? Go on, it’s good for you.

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