I don’t know about you but I rarely save ‘cleaning up’ until my kids are in bed for fear of them growing up thinking there are domestic cleaning pixies living in our neck of the woods. St Albans is expensive but (more’s the pity) it’s not for that reason. Admittedly we have a weekly cleaner but even the amazing Annie can’t stop the accumulation of muck and mess beginning just minutes after she’s left. Daily cleaning and tidying is a fact of life for most mothers and in the first of a new series of Mothers Work! newsletters I’m suggesting that if you want to make yours easier, look no further than your partner and children. That’s right, the cleaning team you never knew you had.

In a nutshell (loads more in chapters three and six of my book, Mothers Work!) I have three suggestions to reduce the domestic burden:

1) Start talking to your partner about ‘sharing the load’ rather than the language of ‘favours’ and ‘pleases’ (which suggests you owe a debt of gratitude for someone else chipping in with the stacking of dishwashers, putting away of laundry and wiping toddler pissy-dribbles off the toilet seat. YOU DO NOT.)

2) Get your children involved in domesticity from the moment they’re capable of throwing their dummy out of the cot - doing chores together can count as QT.

3) Put time limits around daily chores such as cleaning up after dinner and if it isn’t completed by the time the cooker starts bleeping then walk away feeling rather self-satisfied that you are a woman of disciplne.

There’s a more serious reason why women need to stop all the housework we do: it’s holding back our careers. I’m convinced that if men were to go halfers with us we’d see women making it to company boards and into the senior stratosphere far quicker than we are now. If only Lord Davies of Abersoch had involved Kim & Aggie in his research and resulting report, Women on Boards, we might have the evidence to prove it.

There is, however, research to show that women continue to do more housework and family care than men even when they both work full time (that’s what led to the term ‘triple bind’ by academics studying the pressures of modern working motherhood). What’s more, there’s also bona fide research to show that men tend to over-estimate their domestic involvement. Not looking good is it fellas? If you want the hard and fast facts take a look at pg 188 of Mothers Work!

Final thought on the divvying of domestic drugery: surely the prize of a successful career is the financial means to give employment to another to do it? Rock on, woman power.

What do you think about how to lighten the domestic load? Your views on mothers making it onto company boards? Got a success story to share about how you manage work and home? Please leave a comment.

If you liked this post you might be interested in my feature for the Daily Mail on successful working motherhood. I’m a guest on the Vanessa Feltz TV show next Thursday 16 June live at 2.15pm on Channel 5 talking about men and housework and also on Nick Coffer’s (author of My Daddy Cooks) Weekend Kitchen radio programme (BBC 3 Counties live Saturday 18 June 12-2pm). The week after I’m giving a talk and book signing at Waterstones, St Albans Thursday 23 June at 7.30pm. Tickets £3 from the shop or online - be great to have your support. Then I think it’s time to press pause and have a cuppa.

Share this: