Family Flourishing
It seems like the advertising world beat me to ‘my’ great idea four years before I had it. Whilst I’ve been writing my book (Mothers Work! Published by Hay House, June 2011) I’ve been thinking up ways to drum up interest in my work as coach and author. It’s not enough to have a NEW book these days, you’ve got to have side issues that make for interesting stories in glossie mags and newspapers in their own right before you’ll get a plug. Or be well in with the right people.
So I came up with a campaign - “Mealtimes Matter” - to get employers and employees to commit to getting home one night each week (a Wednesday) and have a meal with their loved ones (I touch on meals in my book so this would be a relevant ‘side issue’). The central idea of the campaign being to draw a boundary around time at work one day a week with the sole purpose of prioritising the evening family meal. All of us - whether we have kids or not - probably have people in our lives who we could do with sitting down to break bread with a little more often. Far from ‘Mealtimes Matter’ being a campaign aimed just at parents, this was going to be for everyone (it needs to be inclusive lest the non-family types get even more pissed off that those with young kids get preferential treatment…never mind the fact that it’s our kids who’ll be paying their pensions… but I’m not getting into that here).
I think mealtimes are important and particularly in households with young children. Children learn good food habits from parents and we can stop many a finicky eater in their tracks if we eat together and set a good example. This is nothing new of course but we just don’t do it often enough in the UK. The middle classes of the south are perhaps more guilty of this than any other demographic with our long commutes and work commitment, especially in financially stretched times. And that’s probably another reason why we need a campaign like MM because when jobs get cut and budgets constrained who’s going to want to be the one to start going home on time? Yes I’m a coach who’s into advocating all the right behaviours (life balance for work focused mumpreneurs, work/home boundaries for line managers, coaching senior women to lead by example etc) but I’m also a realist and know that ‘good’ family behaviours can easily go out the window in hard times.
I’ve had a full on week with my two children as it’s been half term and I’ve drawn a line around TV consumption for the kids and screen time for myself (less tweeting, emailing, facebooking, writing) than usual. In fact, no computing until Daddy’s home. But it’s Friday and I’ve made to the end of the week and I’m treating myself to some writing time whilst the kids watch TV. Amazingly, it’s the first time it’s been on today and it’s 5.12pm. My 2 year old is by my side hassling me to put a nappy on her baby, the oven timer is beeping at me and I can hear adverts playing on the DVD of Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets I recorded from the telly circa 2005.
I dash into the living room to fast forward through the ads and see shot after shot of different people talking about getting home to have dinner together. I do a double-take and think ‘this is mealtimes matter, what’s going on? Damn and blast someone’s beat me to it.’ Turns out it’s an advert for Bisto and a campaign they ran called ‘Aahnight’ - get it? ‘Our night’ or ‘Aaah’ as in ‘aaah Bisto’
I can only think this campaign wasn’t a huge success as this is the first I’ve heard of it. Yes, I realise this is egocentric. Then I remember that I don’t watch much telly and when I do it’s rarely ITV and even then I tend to record stuff and spin through the ads and the boring bits.
So was Aah Night a huge success? Have you heard of it? Do you get home for dinner at least one night a week to eat with your family? I’d love to hear about any good practices your workplace has for supporting young families. Please do leave me a post.
The kitchen timer is screeching again and I really must cellotape that nappy on before 2 year old blows a gasket.
Personally I’ve never seen the Bisto’s Aahnight campaign. Maybe it’s more to do with me not really paying attention until now to family oriented ads - though I’ve always been an ad-freak… I love the mealtime matters idea - perhaps it will have a bigger effect than Bisto’s attempt? I suppose their ‘pledge’ is more on a personal level and yours is directed more at employers to encourage a healthy work/life balance? How has it worked out so far?
Growing up we always had family meals, I dislike eating on my lap as I had to endure sometimes at uni where there was no dining table - and couldn’t imagine eating at disjointed times like my husband’s family did.
For me, mealtimes = family time. I work part-time but I’d love employers to give you flexibility e.g. chance to work 8-4 instead of 9-5. My baby’s almost 10 months, but when he’s older I’d be distraught not to have dinner together
Hi Marie, thanks for posting and I think what you say about flexibility would be a great way to position the ‘Mealtimes Matter’ campaign to employers. An early start with an early finish means no loss of hours for employers, although I think it’s PRODUCTIVITY employers should be most interested in, not hours present in workplace. I’m of the ‘law of diminishing returns’ school of thought when it comes to performance at work - staying until 6, 7, 8pm or later when you started at 8am (or earlier) isn’t the best way to get work done. We simply have to have a break. Some women I’ve coached and spoken to in writing my book recently are in the habit of getting home for dinner and then logging back into finish work stuff later on. Hope you’re getting on well at work. Does your organisation/line manager do anything to help you as a young family?
Yes definitely productivity matters most, but I imagine with client-facing roles you need to be available when they are too.
I’m working my 2nd week on a freelance contract at the moment so have no proper line manager. They were quite good in letting me choose the hours I work (ie. they work 9.30-5.30 but let me do 9-5) and it’s up to me when I go in- as long as I do the required days they need (1-3 days a week). It was exactly what I was looking for! Though not my dream job it’ll do for now - definitely wouldn’t like to take on a client-facing role at the moment as I’d feel inclined to do all for them and stay on late if needed. Now, I leave at 5 on the DOT. What a difference from pre-baby!
We’re planning on moving to France where I’ll look for a perm job. Apparently they’re very good with mothers in the workplace, large orgs often have creches in the buildings, and often mums don’t work Wednesday as kids don’t go to school on Wed or something!
Good for you that you’ve got a role that ticks some of your boxes for the time being. I think in a way it’s easier to be flexible in a customer facing role if there’s a team of you who deal with ‘the client’. Not always though, I know. Best wishes for the move to France. A French friend of mine is having a six month sabbatical over there with her husband and two young children before her oldest starts school. I hope you get the kind of satisfying work you’re after and do come back and share your experiences on working motherhood on my blog. The book is out next June.